Does the spoken and written word put an extraordinary amount of meaning on your partner? If they get a thrill when you give praise, compliments, gratitude, and motivation, then words of affirmation are likely their primary language of affection.
Actions speak louder than words, unless, of course, the love language of your spouse is "words of affirmation." Your partner will particularly appreciate compliments, heartfelt thanks, handwritten notes, and listening to others about what they mean.
The aim is to let partners know how much they mean to you, how different they are from others, and how much you care for them. Here are the words of affirmation you can use to help those around you feel appreciated and loved.
What are Words of Affirmation?
Words of affirmation aim to confirm, support, uplift, and empathize positively with another person. This is one of the specific ways of giving and receiving love in a relationship.
According to Marriage and family therapist Michele DeMarco, if anyone is attracted to words of encouragement, it's because they believe words really matter and help them give a literal voice to how they feel inside.
Importance of Words of Affirmation
People use affirmations for a variety of purposes. They can be generally used to reprogram the subconscious mind and encourage us to believe certain things about ourselves or the world and our place.
We use them to help us create or attract the reality we want, such as riches, love, beauty, and happiness. There is power in affirmations of this nature, because our mind plays a significant role in actualizing our lives and manifesting our desires.
At a subconscious level, what we believe about ourselves can have a substantial impact on the outcome of events. At the simplistic level, our lives tend to run smoothly when we feel good about ourselves and have a positive attitude.
Proponents of the "law of attraction" also refer to this as raising our vibration so that good things such as financial prosperity, affection, and renewed health are magnetically attracted to us when our vibration is acceptable.
Appreciate Positively
Typically, when others understand and respect what they do, people who feel satisfied by encouraging words and feedback will flourish.
The key is to tell them in no uncertain terms how much you appreciate them, whether it is how they do the laundry, the meal they cooked for dinner, or the fact that they spent three hours proofing your report.
And if you're very clear about what you wanted, it's going to warm their hearts and fill their tanks. Start your affirmations with "I" or "I am ...." These kinds of statements turn affirmations into identity statements. Strong motivators for self-change are identity claims.
Examples of these statements will be, "I am loving the dress you're wearing," "I enjoy hanging out with you," "I love your art," and "I care for you."
Share Your Feelings in Your Affirmations
Imbue your comments with emotion. It is important to use emotional words in affirmations because of the deep connection between expressions of emotion and somatic experiences.
Instead of, "I spend time with my elderly parents," try saying, "I feel such love and appreciation spending time with my mother and father." Or instead of "I just eat nutritious food." This will sound suspiciously chore-like, try, "I feel vibrant and alive when I make healthy choices for me.
Use It Daily
You must use them once you've come up with a set of affirmations. To be effective, affirmations must be used daily — at a minimum.
Some guidelines say that first thing in the morning and last thing at night, you make affirmations. Others suggest that you place your affirmations on index cards and keep them in plain sight, such as your mirror in the shower, your car's steering wheel, your computer monitor, or your purse or wallet.
Some also suggest that it is helpful to write affirmations down on a daily basis because another mechanism through which the affirmation becomes part of the unconscious mind is the act of writing something out.
Conclusion
Different individuals have different ways of using affirmations, as well. Some people prefer to read or repeat statements from a list, a card stack, or, most recently, from apps on smartphones. There is also a range of phone apps that come pre-stocked with fitness, wealth, and relationship-related affirmations.
