An overbearing parent tends to control and keep an eye on their children with every single thing they do. The way they dress, act, respond to something, personal decisions, and such. Nobody wants to be restricted from doing the things they enjoy, even if it's something that the majority does not allow.
No parents, for sure, want to be called a "control freak" by their kids. Although you parents want the best and safest for your children, here's a news flash for you: the lives of your children should not always go your way. They are individuals who are capable of decision-making and dealing with things on their own.
Being a parent is a complicated role. It would help if you mastered the right combination of being lenient while at the same time, being strict. One of the traits that a parent must avoid is being an overbearing parent. Learn from these tips on how to avoid being an overbearing parent.
Why Is Being an Overbearing Parent Bad?
Several studies show that individuals with controlling parents are most likely to have difficulty in practicing independence. At the same time, those who practice self-reliance and autonomy tend to be linked to building healthy relationships with themselves and others.
It is understood that you only want the good for your kids, but you may not know that there are a lot of adverse effects of you controlling their lives. It may affect their relationship with themselves, with their peers, and they can undergo personal battles which include the following.
Difficulty in Decision Making
When you always dictate what you want your kids to do, it may affect how they respond to things. They may even have a hard time deciding on what path they want in life.
Self-doubt
Your kid might doubt their real personalities, abilities, and talents just because they were used to being criticized. They might not know what they want and what they are capable of anymore.
This may lead to an individual who pretends to be someone they don't want to be since they were taught to comply with whatever their parents said.
Incapability
There is a high possibility that controlling your kid may lead them to have aspects in their lives that were not developed and nurtured. If your kid has the natural talent to sing but want them to be someone otherwise, they couldn’t enhance what they have.
How To Avoid Being An Overbearing Parent?
At this point, you might think that being too protective is not cool at all. You might want to prevent yourself from being such a parent or get rid of it upon finding how it can impact an individual. Either way, here are some preventions that may guide you on how NOT to control your child and how to be a cool parent.
Give Them Privacy
A parent naturally has the urge to check on your kids, how they are doing at school, who they are talking to, their plans, and others alike. However, it is essential to remember to let them keep things among themselves.
Being a parent does not necessarily give you the gate pass on bombarding their boundary lines and interrogating them about everything. It may sound hard, but do not panic whenever it feels like they don't want to share something with you.
Support Them in Everything They Do
Instead of criticizing and dictating what they must do, why not allow them to go with their interests and support them with those? It can't be denied that a parent and a child’s mutual agreement in one thing helps create a more refined and healthy relationship.
If they want to play in the rain, join them! If you’re going to loosen up a bit after an exhausting academic session, maybe watch a movie or eat with them.
Give Them Compliments
You're surely aware of how a compliment impacts one's state and emotional being. As fast as you criticize their mistake, please do the same with applauding their excellence and the effort they make. The act of simply telling them, "Good job!" You did well today!" or "You have improved!" radiates positive energy to them.
Who knows whether it may serve as their driving force to get things done much better and with full motivation? Even if they failed, still, they crave to hear something to ease the burn. Make sure it comes from you.
Do Not Immediately Judge Their Personal Choices
Parents today are too conservative that they judge their kids based on their preferences. As a parent, don't be like them. It would help to keep in mind that the time before is different from the present time.
Some norms have been changed, liberalized, improved, and accepted. As a parent, you should not have a primitive mindset and let your child have their freedom to choose.
Let Them Venture into Life on Their Own
Allow your children to mess up, to stumble, and to make mistakes. If you still don't know, these are what an individual undergoes to achieve improvement and growth.
Instead of telling them to strive harder and excel in everything, also consider telling them how to bounce back every time they fail at something.
In this way, they can disregard the concept of perfectionism and accept that it's okay not to always be at their best. Let them discover what they want to be and who they want to be by themselves. This will help them stand on their own and establish trust within them.
Conclusion
As parents, it's natural to have the desire to protect and intervene in your children’s lives. But a moment comes where it seems more of a controlling presence rather than protection. If so, you might as well take a step back and ponder on the difference between the two, not only for yourself but especially for your children.
