Codependency is a condition of behavior in which one person needs to be needed and the other person takes advantage of the neediness. It is less of an individual diagnostic, and mostly describes a relationship dynamic.
Well, the exact definition of this term varies from one person to another, but it is basically the situational, subclinical, and episodic behavior that is similar to a dependent personality disorder.
In this review, we will show you how to identify this kind of behavior in your relationships. Then we'll get into the most important part, which is what overcoming codependency takes. Let’s get started.
Identifying Codependency in Your Relationship
Now, if you have started to notice that a lot of your life revolves around the behavior of your partner, it's time to evaluate. This is a big sign that you are in a codependent relationship which can be emotionally destructive.
You may feel that you cannot live without your partner, and that is dangerous. If you get too far into this kind of relationship you can lose all sense of yourself. There are some distinct signs if you are in a codependent relationship.
As yourself the following questions to determine whether it is co-dependent or not.
- Do you find that your sense of purpose revolves around making extreme sacrifices to satisfy the needs of your partner?
- Do you find it hard to say no whenever your partner makes demands of your time and energy?
- Do you find yourself covering your partner’s inherent problems such as alcoholism, drug addiction, or illegal activities?
- Are you constantly worrying about how other people’s opinions affect you?
- Are you feeling trapped in your relationship?
- Are you always quiet to avoid arguments?
If you answered yes to any of these queries, then chances are that you could be in a codependent relationship. Up next are some ways you can start to carve out your separate identity.
Tips to Overcoming a Codependent Relationship
Practice Self-Care
One thing that happens in a codependent relationship is that you will lose sight of yourself. This is because you will be spending the majority of your time and energy trying to fix the other person.
To move forward, you need to learn how to create healthier relationships. You must take the time to explore yourself. Look deep inside at your needs, likes, dislikes, thoughts, and feelings.
This will help you understand yourself better, and even be able to identify when someone is taking advantage of you. It will be detrimental if you do not take the time to understand YOU, and what you need from a relationship.
If you do not do so, then it will be easy for you to accept the situation and get into a pattern of taking care of someone else other than yourself.
Learn How to Be Independent
Being independent means being self-sufficient, which means that you can take care of your needs. You do not need to rely on anyone to make yourself feel better, nor do you need to be around other people to feel fulfilled.
You should be able to take yourself out to dinner, go to the movies by yourself, or even get a hobby that you love and one that will occupy your time.
Independent people are hard to take advantage of, and they do not tend to enter into codependent relationships.
What codependency does is to make you reliant on others for self-fulfillment. Learn how to be content with being alone rather than having fear for it. This is a powerful step to overcoming codependency.
Learn How to Set Realistic Expectations
Being unrealistic with your expectations leads to non-achievement and failure. You will easily be let down if the targets you set are unattainable.
Expecting someone to make you happy is an unachievable target. You are the only one that can make yourself happy.
Learn how to be happy with the person that you are. In this way, you will not expect anyone else to provide what you don’t have.
Conclusion
It is easy to get used to a bad relationship because it simply becomes your norm. But it is a good sign that you are reading this article and trying to find out if you have a codependency problem.
The information above will help you figure it out and also help you start doing something about it.
